{ GOT WOOD? }

How embarrassing...I apologize. Let's forget I made that coarse joke about erections, I don't want it to sully what is so beautiful between us. Instead let us discuss PETRIFIED WOOD!

Petrified or Fossilized wood occurs when plant matter is buried by sediment, safe from the interference of oxygen and other organisms, allowing it to turn into stone. This process takes millions of years, during which time the original matter is replaced with mineral deposits and allows the details of the original plant - such as it's bark and cellular structure - to appear intact. Neato!

Also neato? The fossil itself is at times so well-preserved that people mistake it for a regular old piece of wood and make the error of hoisting it up without realizing that it is really, really, super-honking-heavy thus giving themselves a hernia...bend at the knees, not at the waist. 

Petrified wood with druzy quartz crystal - GORGEOUS! And heavy!

Petrified wood with druzy quartz crystal - GORGEOUS! And heavy!